Ah.. So I am early, huh? I asked myself as I relaxed on the couch. My thoughts took me somewhere then. Somewhere far away... when I took that time and held a promise to my palms.. a promise made 19 months ago.
*Since that tragic day when I wandered to that terrifying office and spoke to that unreasoning dragon, the ruler under the regime of uncertainty and frustrations of my workplace, I have continuously fell to my knees day by day to ask the great Boss one certain request...
For almost four years of staying in the agency, the time has come that both in spirit, heart and mind, I wanted a way out.. to be separated from this worldy mess I am in. The Lord deserves better service than what I am currently doing there. Righteousness has been given to us through the death of Christ and we are now free from compromises and the desire to sin. But staying in the office gives me the creeps... the goosebumps... hard choices to make which affects this life of mine. I dont think the Lord is glorified with sin and sin should not be taken for granted.
Its between two choices... its either ill be kicked out because im being disobedient to them, or I really have to start finding my way out so not to compromise my true service to the Almighty One.
I just pray that through this aggressive move to spin out of that abomination, He will lead me out. What if He wants me to stay?? then the first option will surely happen. But my love ones still need me. I cant risk them for being so useless to them. I pray and beg that He will surely swirl me out and transfer to a place where I can be a glorifying instrument to Him.
Enough has been done in the past... Its time to be free...
That was 19 months ago. And I never stopped praying and never stopped hoping... and never stopped from clutching to a hopeful exit. And after all these months of emotional turmoil and discontentment, the Lord of lords and King of kings had answered my prayer. He led me out.
Though it took this long, I was so glad I went on to another phase.
New Work
It was new to me. Though I have worked in a private company before, I came into a very controversial company. It was so infamous and the public seem to have 50-50 remarks on its operations. McDonalds had international standards as well, but this company ha dmore complexities and I was in a new function which I have not been much absorbed in my five years in the agency. Though I was handling systems in the past, I was more into action, implementation works and running through the sand. Now I was at the top, looking at implementers, more now of an observer than into actual action and just sitting on a large rock on the beach watching people frolicking in the sand. Thinking was more into this work and it is fairly a positive force to me. Though in the past I was a field worker, I am keen to sit down and put the pencil eraser in my forehead and t-h-i-n-k.
New Life
New people are surrounding me. I just thank God that He has allowed me to have familiar faces in the company such as my boss, my other parallel boss and superintendent boss. I had a few relatives in other departments and college friends who walk to and fro the company grounds. Yes, they were familiar but I was still in a new world. When work faces the pressures and stress in their own respective function, one can see the true nature of people's attitudes. Oftentimes, I am surprised of what I disciver day by day. I think out aloud when walking in corridors and whispering prayers that God will not allow me to fail the expectations of people in this new world... and even the company itself.
Surely, its a new life. Adjustments are meant to be observed and habits are now assessed whether they were applicable or not. As this nature of mine calls for peaceful relations with everyone (as much as possible), I had to both serve God and this earthly master here. I want to please everybody but I know some might not be pleased with me. So, patience is really a virtue now... may I have loads of it.. and may my boss have his own bullets of patience as well for me... the silly me...
New Sights
I was walking around the coast in the past. Now the terrain is more on highlands. I was dealing with mostly common faces living in the rural areas. Now I have to face more co-tribes of mine in the mountains of South Cotabato. I have to face now the culture which my blood has and what it made me as one.
Its not just the terrain and culture of clients. Its the room as well. Though we share tables, I was now more aware of being tidy. I cant hep but smile when I remember how messed up my desk was in my past work. The equipment lend to me the company is much more sophisticated and strict. I was a project manager in the past... now im a technical assistant to a supervisor.
I hardly can explain the newness of the sights I see everyday. Its always a new thing to me... causing me to have seconds of shock... and Im enjoying these moments.
New Ministry
I was a failure in the past. I wasnt able to bring anyone to Christ when I worked there. Instead of influencing the people around me, I was the one influenced. And largely, I blame myself of being lax and unclinging to the author and finisher of my faith. The light and salt wasnt explored much and I do not know what impressions I have left in there.
But as I face this big-time newness... He has given me a new responsibility of renewing such influence He expects me to show to everyone. I am not perfect and I will never be in this life... but Someone in me is perfect and I know He will guide me to be a witness and a seasoning to a tasteless environment.
A few days have passed since I sat in that couch. And I will never stop thanking the One who answers prayers endlessly. May this new work, life, sights and ministry make me more of someone that I should have been...
